Is it Wrong to be Nervous?

Sometime this week or next, I expect to be able to start the next stage in life: getting a job after college. I won’t say exactly what the job is on here, but I can give details about it. A couple months back, I applied for this job thinking they would never give me, out of all the thousands of people who apply for this job throughout the year, a second look. Boy was I wrong.

One week after applying I made it to the next step. I was almost fast-tracked through the process, which was long and tiring. There were tests, interviews, security checks, background investigations, and more. Finally, as of last week, I made it to the last step where they extend an offer. I expect this will happen sometime this or next week but now, the nerves are hitting.

Say they do extend an offer (which being paranoid me, i still doubt they might), that means that I have training down in Georgia, then I get transferred/moved to Wisconsin… Moving to Wisconsin away from my parents is one thing but having to go to Georgia and live in their training camp, is a whole different story! I know absolutely

Here’s the negatives that make me nervous: .I know absolutely no one in Georgia nor at the training center. I’ll be completely alone in all of this there. Plus it’s like going to school all over again… You basically live in a dorm room where there is actually a time in the day that they set out to be called Quiet Time.– I’m sorry, are we not adults now? Do we not know that later hours you should be quiet because people are trying to sleep? Like who made these rules?  Finally, I worry about failing the training. If I do, then this will all have been for nothing. My parents will be disappointed. My family, friends, everyone I know will all look at me like a failure and I’ve never had that before…what’s it like?

Now the positives of it! I’ll finally be on my own! No parents to ask me where I’m going when a spur of the moment idea like going to the store to buy ice cream at 1am happens. (Believe me, that has happened. I love ice cream. It loves me.) I won’t have to listen to them fight with my older brother for lack of interest in getting a job– also won’t have to see him get money from them at any moment he pleases, which is extremely frustrating for me to watch. The biggest pro i think is I might actually meet someone (either there in Georgia or when I move to Wisconsin)! Won’t get into it much but I can’t possibly tell you how much I long for someone… Wouldn’t that be cool though, to meet someone you’ll fall in love with and get a job at the same time! (I know it won’t likely happen and that’s part of a downfall too but I can keep hopes high. And even if I did meet someone, he’d likely be stationed somewhere else and not anywhere close to Wisconsin…). The last pro, I’d actually enjoy doing the job– I think. Many people tell me I won’t, but I think they’re wrong!

So what do you think? Is it wrong for me to sit here and be so nervous my stomach is turning slightly… I mean, they haven’t even extended an offer yet, but still. Ugh, the more I think about it, the more I get excited AND nervous. Let’s see if I can follow this… “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are,” -E.E. Cummings


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