Posted in Favorite Things, Just Another Day, Ranting, Work, Workout

Problems I need help solving!

Why is it so easy to get overwhelmed with everything? I mean i know I’m doing it to myself…loading too much on my plate, but still. Today is Monday. In the past week up to today, I’ve been planning out so many things, I can’t even think today. Even this morning when I walked into work, one of my coworkers said “What’s up with you, you’re awfully quiet today!”

Of the list of things I’ve come up with doing:

  1. Donate blood when I get home. (the limit from donation was 5/21)
  2. Pass my final tests to get certified on job (I passed those today!)
  3. Pack on Thursday to go home on Friday.
  4. 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb in September
  5. My vacation with Dee in which we will visit around 5 different states in one week.
  6. Send in my watch to be fixed.
  7. Get my work schedule for when completely done with training.

Now on all of these I have issues that go with them! I suppose that’s what’s so stressful but at the same time, I did it to myself! On 1, It’s a goal in my life to give blood whenever possible. Why not? I’m capable and people need it so yeah! Save a life right? Problem: Where and when to do it when I get back so it won’t interfere with work.

Number 2. So i did pass this morning… Woooouh! But I don’t get my badge till tomorrow morning. Problem: So now I’m stressing (FOR NO GOOD REASON) about being sworn in again… except this time in front of all the coworkers… what if i mess up all the words as he repeats them to me….

Number 3. For some reason, these 8 weeks in the hotels is such a joy i don’t want to leave… boy i wish you guys could hear the sarcasm in my tone right now. Hell no, I cannot wait to go home, even if it’s not home home with my parents. I’m sooooo tired of hotels. You don’t realize how much it actually does suck until you have to live in them with no one else to talk to or nothing to do. Tons of movies repeated and Grey’s Anatomy on repeat… greatttt. Problem: I’m eager to pack now! But also today was told I might not be going home this Friday as they had told me. Now they are realizing they need more hours for different training that starts tomorrow… I could be here another freaking week! KILL ME NOW!

Number 4: I’m so excited for this, i really can’t wait. The Problem is simple on this one: HOW THE HELL DO I GET IN SHAPE FOR 110 FLOORS WORTH OF STAIRS? Anyone… anyone of my fitness followers/readers, ADVICE IS NEEDED AND MORE THAN WELCOME! I have 4 months. Help…

Number 5: PROBLEM: I mean what isn’t stressful about this. Through all the planning of fun, obviously i’m excited but same time, HOLY CRAP. All of you parents who plan vacations for trips with others: PROPS TO YOU! I don’t know how you all stay so calm with everything. Granted, we are going to five different states and flying separately to meet up at our first state, so we knew it wouldn’t be easy. And crap does everything add up for $$$. We’re doing cheap route and it’s still hella expensive! Any advice from travelers to save money?

Number 6: I’ve had this Fitbit Surge for 2 years now. Wear it every single day and monitor everything. The only time I take it off is to shower or swim. It has decided to break. The screws ripped right through the rubber bands and the piece that holds the excess band down has also snapped. I finally got around to putting the claim in for it to be fixed and now have to send it in. I have no box since I’m not home and as soon as I’m home it needs to be sent. Problem: I’m not sure i have a box at home either. I don’t want to get a big box from the store so kinda at a dilemma and trying to save money… UGH

Number 7: So I did actually receive my work schedule today… The hours are fine. I can work afternoon/night. No big deal. I’m a 20s year old that doesn’t mind the weird hours. I mean I am working 4am shift right now… PROBLEM: Boy am I mad and upset at what they gave me for days off. How am I the one who ends up with split days off. Sundays and Tuesdays… what is that about?! None of my current coworkers have heard of that and I get it… it’s to the works needs that need to be filled. And not to mention it’ll likely be changed within a couple months too. Either way, as if I didn’t already not have a life from work, now I can’t even go out or go home to visit since i don’t have 2 days in a row. See you never mom and dad…. UGHHHHHHHHHH

Posted in Favorite Things, Just Another Day, Workout

To honor those who fell!

I’m not sure if I ever had made a post about a life goal I have, which is “To run a race in every state.” It doesn’t have to be a 5k necessarily, it can be more. However, this race that I found and intend to do, is not a race at all. This will be well worth it and if anyone is in the area, you should do it as well.

My coworker told me of this event they have in Green Bay, Wisconsin. It’s held in Lambeau Field where the Green Bay Packers play! (Granted I’m SOOO not a Packer’s fan but rather a Bears fan.)

All of of us are aware of what happened on 9/11 here in America. Many lives were lost that day. In honor of all of the firefighters that died, 343 of them who gave their lives to save others, there is a stair climb. You start at ground 0 and climb 110 flights of stairs.  This is the equivalent to going up and down all the stairs on Lambeau Field’s base level. Its not timed nor is it a race. Goal is just to finish! To make it mean even more, the race gives a badge with a picture and name of one of those fallen firefighters for you to climb for.

An even better part about this race is that everything raised, whether be donations or just entry’s into the event, is all given to the families who lost firefighters on 9/11.

I don’t know about you guys but knowing I’m ‘running’ for someone who gave their life trying to save someone is more than enough reason to run! There is no doubt that i’m going to finish for him/her. If they can run up those stairs in a hot building, wearing their full uniform, and saving hurt people, i can endure a little cold weather and some sore legs.

The goal is to get a group of my friends to join me in this event. So far I have a couple yes’s (assuming they can get off work and not have any demands) and a bunch of maybes. I may be weird in this but if someone asked me to do this in honor of any firefighters, police, or military, i’d jump at the chance. Any way to honor my country and those who protect it– no chance I’d say no.

If any of you want to join in the climb, go register and maybe see you there! Or if you want to donate, go to this site! If i get enough people to go, I’ll create a team too!

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Posted in Favorite Things, Just Another Day, Work, Workout

Back at the training base!


It’s come to my attention that the last string of posts has been either upsetting or negative or just unhappy. But that’s just not the case! It’s been pretty great actually. Back on May 25th, I made a post.

“Now I’m on my second week…. As of today, this is what has happened.

New friends: 0

Coworkers who’s name’s I can’t remember: 14 out of 15.

Workouts I’ve done: 2 (should be 12)”

I’m happy to announce this has drastically changed. As part of training, we are sent to a (secret) base down in one of the southern and very warm states! Boy was it a drastic change for me too! I jumped on the plane at 9am, which was the first time I’ve flown alone, and it was snowing. After jumping on my connecting flight and landing in the southern state, it was 80’s and HUMID! A group of us was stuffed into a bus in which our awkwardness seemed to connect us as friends.

New Friends: 4

Drive. Drive Drive. Seemed like forever after waiting 3 hours in the airport for the bus then driving for over an hour with a seemingly psychotic driver. When arriving at base, everyone’s searched for ID’s and any weapons have to be turned in. All of us clung to each other… still is awkwardness and confusion.

Finally 10pm, i get to my room. Roommate MIA but stuff sitting right there… to look at name tag on bag or not…. you’ll never know! =) She returned to the room later and we instantly bonded. She was part of the Jersey crew.

New Friends: 5

Class was insanely hard to wake up for. I think it was like 530am I got woken up by just so i could tag along to breakfast and not be a loner in the corner… sucks being the only one from your state at base… it’s like high school to be honest. The agents stick to their agencies and the states stick to their own groups. Welcome to the cool group, the nice group, geeky group, etc. etc. etc. (I won’t say which Jersey was…)


Walking into that class was more awkward than poly school. Everyone is watching each other, assessing everyone it seemed. I know I was. To my happiness, i noticed quite a few who seemed nervous and shy. The teachers seemed strict at first but then opened up. I swear it was like death by powerpoint. There had to be 200 pages in that horrid binder. I can’t count how many times my head was nodding off. Standing was a good solution, but hard when you sat in the middle of the room because then it was back to the awkwardness. You stand up, everyone watches. You fall asleep, everyone watches. It’s a lose lose there. The times we we’re out of classroom were the best but that is knowledge I can’t post about on here.


I made friends with a girl from my state back in original training. She met me up there and I made friends with D, K, and R.

New Friends: 8

Dee (As i shall call her on here) became like a sister. We agreed on almost everything. Many times I’d text her when my class got out (since they always got out early….) and ask if there was anything good for lunch. 9 out of 10, we’d agree that it was crap or really good. (Mostly it wasn’t that great). Both of us were bitchy in the morning because we both hate mornings. Like no sir, you can’t talk to me right now. I don’t care if you’re angry because we sat at your table. Go away. Now. Hmm what else. OH we both love to workout…except she was miss gimpy over there with her robo arm from dislocating her elbow! (Yea Dee, I called you gimpy!)

Two days there, 1 while 80s other while it was 90s, we decided to go for a run to explore campus. Boy, we were dying. Swallowing bugs left and right, getting stung, dripping sweat, being followed by base police, getting lost on base, being stared at by EVERY passing car, getting cheered on by other agents (Best part) and the horrible chaffing… all while running 3.5 and 3.70 miles!

What most people did know was that we were ALWAYS watching. “3-umm 7 or 8” we’d say or. “12- 1/0″… we can admit it now… it was us watching and telling where people were to look at. I’m sure you can figure out the 7 or 8 meaning. I’ll leave the 1 or 0 a mystery =)

We also came up for nicknames for people. Rico, Dylan, Frank, were some of the people. Just typing those three, i have to stop because i’m laughing at them. We literally talked about people right in front of their faces and they had no idea! (It wasn’t bad things, least not for Rico or Dylan.) Hey Dee, Ricccccooooooooo! lol


Of the adventures we had there were many unrelated to class. Pool– it was like a nightly occurrence. We went almost every night…. every single night. Cold water sucked but throwing the football and watching the guy’s jaws drop was amusing… yes we are girls. Yes we can throw better than you. Suck it! Or just the fact that our group was basically the ONLY ones who actually had on swimming suits and got in the water. Most of the time, the other groups would hang out around the pool and just watch, drink, and play music and cards or cook food. On Sunday, I spent 1230-10 in the pool. As you guys don’t know what i work for you won’t understand this but for those who do and for my memory when i look back, I had 2 people ask if I was CBP and another who thought I was USSS. To me, those are all compliments that i put off the appearance of one finally.


In my class there was also the Texas crew. They also could be categorized into a group like jersey but i’ll leave that for them to try to figure out. They invited Dee, K, and I to go bowling. You guys already know how I’m a bowler… for me to go bowling without equipment, i was a mess. The shoes didn’t slide, i didn’t have a ball that fit, and one specific person was buying me TOO many drinks (Yes I just said that and you know you did! But still thank you!) It was probably one of the most fun nights I had there. There was no drama. There was a ton of laughing. My score didn’t reach above 100 either time. And we ended up seeing one of the instructors there who gave us a lesson. Then, drunk me decided to tell him how i didn’t like 1/3 instructors because he was “mean” and “not nice…” I didn’t get in trouble. I think he knew i was drunk. I’m told my friends were saying quietly that it was time for Nikki to stop talking and purposely distracting me from him. Not all memories of that night remain but it was amazing.

New Friends: 16


Not many showed but we killed it. We had some second week-ers play against us. most of the games were guys against girls, except one of the instructors joined our team to make it even. As i said to them, none of them were going to be able to hit me and they didn’t. At one point, it was just me left and i hate catching but I can whip that dodgeball. Three against one. they all had balls and I only held one. All at once, they threw at me. Somehow i ducked the first one and spun in a circle putting myself in the foot of space between the other two balls. Neither hit me and slammed against the back wall. We ended being Dodgeball Champs at the base!

New friends: 20


We went to one island and one big town. If i list the names, you know the state we were stationed in. The big town i will forever remember as the town i hate since i lost my phone there… stupid stealing people. The island was great but cold and windy. MORE DRINKS! Skipping down the street arm in arm with Dee, buzzed/drunk. Running to reach the bus that wasn’t even at the stop yet. Buying more alcohol for base… =) mmmm good times.

Our Final Day

I’m sure i’ve skipped some adventures. Like going to target and getting lost from the rest of the group and taunting the security to make them follow us. But the last day, wow…. the finals were insanely hard (or so we thought). Only one person felt confident after the first part of the test. I wanted to sit there and cry knowing i’d have to wait till the end of the day to know. Second part was easy-peasy. Only got 1 wrong on that. To give us our pass/fail grades, we waited in line. Alphabetical order, they called us in to give the scores. Hot, nauseous, anxious, wanting to make a run for it– all of this was wrapped up in me and many others. I was 20th in line so it was a long wait. By this time, Dee and K had already walked over to tell me they had passed and tried to give support. Finally they called me in.

It was quiet. They all just stood there smiling at me. Tell me dammit! I was screaming in my head. Then our active shooter stepped forward saying “Look here, it’s my shinning drill star!” which made me more embarrassed and anxious. Barbara smiled next while handing me my diploma along with Charles and Joe. They laughed when I told them how we all hated them for making us wait nervously outside. I PASSED!

Obstacle course:

Part of making friends with the Texas crew, we made a bet that lowest score had to do the obstacle course. This course was not made for our agency. It was walls to jump, monkey bars, pull-up bars, ladders to climb, long jump, crawl under ropes, over ropes, balance beam, zigzag point, boat anchor chains to pull (heavy as shit!) and tires to flip. Naturally, everyone who was part of the bet was male, besides me, then Dee joined in after the bet. Also naturally, instead of low score, we ALL did it, some parts multiple times. Dee and I are smaller and probably weaker so we took a little extra time to do it. But hey i mean, if i’m not mistaken one of the Texas crew is ex military so he can like go do it twice before we finish once. Nonetheless, we all finished: with bruises, blisters, sprained ankle, and tire burn.


Well not quite… you see, our moto is team before me. 1 person in our class didn’t pass on the first try. I’ll never forget his face. He was crying and ashamed he had failed. He tried to hide while everyone cheered when they saw another person come out holding the diploma. Later i got the chance to speak to him and get his sights back up. Also managed to convince him to come out to the pool that night which was where the party was! Swimming, drinking, people everywhere. Somehow managed to get one of the Texas crew in the water… big baby was cold the whole time! Yes, I called you a baby! Haha. But it was very fun. Better bet that next time we’re in the pool together again, you’re getting pushed in and then dunked! I will win!

The party led out of the pool since it was 10 and police kick us out. There was playing of cards in the rooms, quietly, so we wouldn’t get busted. Napping for an hour or two. Being woken up by Dee climbing into my bed the middle of that and freaking the crap out of me. I will miss that place but i will miss the people i met there more.

All in all, i managed to make over 30 friends at this school, and not all from the same agency. Friends forever hopefully and good contacts made. I’d say we all came out stronger and ready for work! Dee, you and I actually got physically stronger i think! haha

I WILL go back someday for more training!

Posted in Workout

Day 2 Workout!

Wow was today ever a killer! I woke up and asked my friend how she felt. To my huge surprise, she wasn’t sore at all. Where with me, yes, I was sore. Not sore like ‘Oh my God, I can’t move!’ sore, but more like it was easy to see we worked out. Now, when she said she wasn’t sore, I warned her that we were doing a harder workout and that she had to make sure the weights were heavy enough.

  1.  Barbell bench press
  2.  Incline dumbbell flyes
  3.  Seated dumbbell press
  4.  Side lateral raise
  5.  Lying dumbbell tricep extension
  6.  Bench dips

It doesn’t seem like much to the average person. But doing those exercises 3 sets with 10-12 reps each, it was a killer!

One thing I’m very disappointed at was my flat bench weight. When I was in high school, junior and senior years, you were allowed to pick which P.E. class you wanted to do. They ranged from yoga and cardio, to adventure education. Yeah, Adventure Ed sounded amazing. You’d go hiking through tunnels, climb milk crates as tall as 3 stories high, with the help of your team, or even learn how to flip a kayak back to upright position when you were pushed off the diving board of the pool.

None of them quite interested me more than Strength and Conditioning. From the minute I expressed interest, all of my friends tried to dissuade me. “Only bodybuilders or footballers take that class,” or “why would you want to workout at school?” None of the reasons the gave me made me want to quit though. Day 1, I was the ONLY girl to take the class junior year. By senior year, I had 1 other girl each semester. But that only made me want to work harder; to keep up with the footballers. I made a whole new group of friends in that class that I still have on Facebook to this day.

In that gym class, with them cheering me on like in the movies, I eventually raised my flat bench max. I weighed 140lbs and was 5’5. Not one person there originally thought I could max out at 155lbs… until I did it. From there it swarmed the school that I was the strongest girl (which is sad to me… people should be more interested in getting stronger!)

Today, I knew I wouldn’t be close to 155. I do not know what my MAX weight rep would be but I don’t think I’ll be close. It was 3 sets of 10-12 reps. I decided to start at 65lbs. By the third set, I needed assisted reps to finish. I’m disappointed that 65lbs was the only weight I could do. I’m disappointed that I let myself get weaker through the years. I could have tried harder to keep that weight. By the end of this program, I intend to be back at 155!

I guess the funny and best part about lifting, was that almost all the people lifting free weights were staring. I’m not entirely sure if they were impressed stares or the opposite but I’ll think of it as the first. 13b15cc57fe3a0eb2055e2fe6cb284b3

It’s been a couple of hours sincec8b9aee10b3cbf0b0670c5e02980b7a1 we finished workout and I already feel my arms getting sore. The lactic acid is setting in. Tomorrow, I won’t be able to raise my arms above my head. I’m still hydrating and everything and eating when I’m hungry. But still, it HURTSSSSSS!

To anyone reading this, here is your daily motivation and something actually telling you to go workout! You may not be in perfect shape or afraid people will look at you the wrong way or maybe just plain out lazy/unmotivated. I’m telling you don’t think about what everyone else thinks of you for going to a gym or a run outside. Who the fuck cares what they think! If you’re trying to better yourself, the only one who should care is you. And that care should be happiness; happiness that you’re getting out there and trying. Trying is the first step. If you try, no one can say anything bad to you. Effort is everything…


Posted in Workout

Workout Training Day 1

Today, I started to train my friend. She is as tiny and wants to gain as much muscle as possible. Naturally it’s not going to happen in one day but she understands it’s going to take longer.

Out of all the places, the cheapest and closest for us was Planet Fitness. Now don’t get me wrong, the place isn’t great without certain workout stuff. For example, the whole place’s motto is “judgement free zone” and that they don’t want intimidation happening.

Hell, they even have this hqdefaultthing called the Lunk Alarm. Sure, I hate the obnoxious dropping of weights if its unnecessary or the overly loud grunts but that’s part of working out! It’s normal to make noises with weights and through the workout!

The machines they lack are squat racks or benching racks. If I want to flat bench on something other than a smith machine, I should be able to! I don’t understand how racks can be ‘intimidating’ (that’s their excuse) if you’re not using it! Everything can be scary, UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY TRY IT! I’m guessing some people will look up smith machines if they don’t know what it is and say “what’s so wrong with them?” Well, they don’t allow for the stability muscles to kick in. When  you normally do a flat bench or squat, one muscle is more prominently stronger than another. With that, you have to learn to stabilize your muscles back. With smith machine, you don’t need the stability because the bar is solid. It will go up and down no matter if one side is raising it and not the other.

Nonetheless, besides them not having the machines and having the siren, the place was nice. The people seemed OK and wanted to get in shape, though most of them just stuck on the cardio machines and nothing else. Typical, all guys on free-weights, women on cardio or tiny machines. Except, we change that. We pranced right in and took the weight we needed and began. Sure, they looked at us like “what the hell are they doing over here” but we didn’t care.

After the weights, we did some cardio and then Lauren convinced me to do the tanning. It was only two minutes since we never did machine tanning before and they said that’s what they’d start us on. As much as I’m against them, I did it anyway. All in all, the day was pretty great. Workout 1- Complete. 83 days left with my program. Hopefully she gets the muscles she wants. She’ll get out what she puts in. 0751faa697d6a039f92d0fcd490baf73

Posted in Workout

Back at it again!

I’ve decided, after seeing tons of Pinterest motivation, to get back at it again. I’m not entirely sure why, but I love running. The moment you’re able to say ‘I did it. I finished that run!’ you feel 10x better. It could be the hardest day and I find myself just wanting to run.

Running doesn’t just make you happier but also keeps you toned or helps lose some weight. And as much as everyone keeps telling me I don’t need to lose weight, I’m still going to. Because this… this is how I feel when I see progress. Plus, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say college makes you fat but wait till you get to the real world where you don’t have time to exercise…


You know what’s weird? During some runs, I find myself saying ‘I hate running yet I keep coming back to do it the next day.’  Why do I do it? Why do I run? Umm, I’m not sure I can give anyone a direct answer.

I do however remember a day not too long ago that I’ll never forget. It makes me want to run more remembering how I felt that day. My friend and I decided we were going to run but the problem was, Florida’s weather is so very unpredictable. We had run every other day after school and had no issues with weather other than some wind, extremely hot sun, and days of high tides… but no storms.

That day, we started the run and expected to run to the end of the beach. It didn’t happen. Clouds rolled in, sun disappeared, and the waves grew meaner. Shortly after we turned around to head back, it began to rain. Rain turned to heavier rain and every so often there was lightning crashing in the distance (not close enough to us). The good thing was that the rain was refreshing. The bad thing was it was causing me to be unable to see. Do you guys know how much it hurts when sweat runs into your eyes? It freaking burns!

I can still remember the people hiding under awnings and the beach bars. Some would yell to us ‘run a mile for me!’ Others would watch as we attempted to reach our car before it got worse. Wet sandy legs and shoes, soaked clothes, blinded eyes: that was our run. I regret nothing. That run was one I’ll never forget. It made running fun surprisingly.

Maybe someday soon, thunderstorms will be popping up here in Illinois and I’ll get to experience it again… minus the sand. Today’s run 30 seconds faster and didn’t stop once. Gettin better one day at a time…

Posted in Workout

How to get out of bed: Run.

I think the worst part about waiting to get a job is the time wasted before you actually get it. So, I’ve been laying here in bed for like an hour and the urge to get up isn’t there. There really isn’t much for me to do so the question isn’t ‘Why aren’t you getting up?’ It’s now ‘Why should you get up?’ The real thing I know I should be getting up for is my workout…

My goal through this whole year was to run a ton of miles; specifically 600+miles. And one of my life goals I made was to do a race in every state, like a real race where everyone else is trying to beat you to that finish line. You see, if  you haven’t run a 5k, or a 10k or anything else where you get a bib and try to run to the finish line, you don’t know what you’re missing.

My first race was last November in Florida. My friend and I were training for it for 10 solid weeks. However, the one thing we hadn’t planned for was where the race was. Through those 10 weeks, we trained on the beach, running through the sand. The race was on a bridge at night. Bridges in Florida are tall as crap! Beaches are flat as crap! Training on a flat beach for a bridge race= not a smart move. When the race actually started, everyone was cheering each other on! The atmosphere I had predicted (I’d be slowest runner and be dead last by the finish) was completely backwards. Veterans were cheering me on as I was for them. Some random runners would run up to someone who was slowing down and pace themselves so that runner didn’t stop.

That was when I made my goal to keep running. Yet, I find myself laying here in bed, not wanting to get up and run… Maybe it’s because where I live, we haven’t had sun in 9 days! 9 freaking long days! Happiness is probably at all time low. Today is day 10, but there is actually sun! Kinda of… I mean it’s cloudy but you can see it’s brighter. So I should get up am g0 for run… It doesn’t have to be a long run but then again, I’m still at the level where all my runs feel long.

Screw it. I WILL run. I’ll get out of bed, get dressed, and run. Just run. I’ll be happy about it… or at least try to… I need to get back on the horse and start training again! If any runners read this, you have any advice for me? How do you stay motivated to run because it feels like a constant struggle. The thing I always say during a run- Running makes me hate running yet I continue to do it. I don’t know why.

Off to go run I guess… tootles.